


"This is Gospel"

by Sweetloot



Series: Inspired By [15]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Character Study, Closure, F/M, I apologize for that, Sad, Stand Alone, maybe be a bit OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-12
Updated: 2014-08-12
Packaged: 2018-02-12 21:48:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2125788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetloot/pseuds/Sweetloot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>If you love me let me go</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	"This is Gospel"

**Author's Note:**

> (Inspired by ["This is Gospel"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-BzX4-LBLA) by Panic! At the Disco)

_“Oh, Leonard.”_

She places her hand on his shoulder, he doesn't feel it. Instead, he picks up his coffee with too much sugar that she knew was going to give him a headache. She tells him this, he drinks it anyway. He's been up for over a day, his face covered in graying stubble and darkening circles smudged under his eyes. She sighs, moves to sit on the table in front of him, knowing she can't block his work but tries to do so anyway.

_“You've always been so stubborn.”_

He doesn't hear her, instead types another line in his journal, takes another sip of his coffee, and stifles a yawn.

_“Go to bed, Leonard.”_

She knows he'll crash soon, head bowed and body bent over his desk. He'll wake up crankier than usual, his back and neck hurting him. He'll snap at the Councilor, push his recruits too far, and do something reckless.

She'll tell him he's being an ass, he won't hear her. She'll try to smack him upside the head like she used to, he won't feel it.

She watches him type another line, she sighs and there is no sound, no breath leaving her lungs, nothing notices her movement.

Alpha pops up to remind him that he's been up for twenty-six hours, Leonard tells him that he can count and that if he needs him he'll get him. Alpha waves his hand at him flippantly, muttering a _'whatever'_ before signing off.

Allison's heart gave a small twinge for the A.I, for the circumstances of his creation, for what she knew was to come for him, if what Leonard's notes said were going to come to fruition. 

She had been there for the creation of Alpha, and the subsequent creation of Beta, had seen the way he tried to put together pieces of broken memories. She had been angry, rightfully so, to see that her decision to go out and fight for what she believed in, that her death as a solider fighting for a cause, was being undermined. She knew Leonard missed her, but death happened, it couldn't be erased and trying to do that would cause more harm than good. She knew that her memory counterpart couldn't be kept in the dark forever, that she would learn the truth, and that she would feel the same. 

Allison watches the next hour tick by, looks down at Leonard, sees the way his shoulders are hunched, and the way he's leaning heavily on one of his hands. He'll fall asleep soon, wake up too early, and go about his day like everything was fine. How a man so smart could be so stupid, Allison didn't know. She would have made him go to sleep hours ago, maybe dragged him away from his computer. The man did not know how to take care of himself.

But he seemed to think he knew how to take care of others just fine. Allison knows that Leonard thinks he's doing what's best, but that has always been his problem, he always thought he was _right_ , that his way was the best way. He thought he knew what was best for everyone, especially the people that he loved. He thought he had their best intentions at heart, but he neglected to communicate, neglected to make sure that what _he_ thought was right for them, matched what _they_ thought was right for them.

Allison shakes her head, watching Leonard as his head falls onto his pillowed arms. She gets off the desk, stands beside him and watches him with sadness and anger warring for dominance on her features.

She looks at his notes, sees that he's still planning on fragmenting Alpha. Sees the list of agents he has, sees names marked out, feels relief when one in particular is still there, wishes it wasn't on the board at all.

_“You're an idiot, Leonard. Don't do this, not to yourself, not to them,”_ She looks a the list of names again, imagines she sees a red haired girl holding her mother's hand, asking where she's going, _“and especially not to her.”_

He doesn't hear her, just as she knew he wouldn't. She knows talking to him won't change anything, but she doesn't have long before she has to leave, so she might as well tell him what she should have told him before. Maybe then things would be different.

She leans against the desk, doesn't look at Leonard as she speaks. Neither one of them were ever good with emotions, both too stubborn and proud for their own good, but she had to say this, it was her last chance.

_“Leonard, you're an asshole, but you're my asshole...or, you were,”_ Allison laughs, it sounds bitter and broken in her ears, _“If I knew how obsessive you would become I would have...I would have told you that if you loved me, you would let me go. I wouldn't have made that promise to come back. I would have told you to move on after I was gone, I would have told you to stop chasing ghosts...”_

Allison sighs, turns to look at Leonard, has the urge to tell him to stop sleeping with his glasses on, that he'll break them again and bitch about it until he gets his new ones. She doesn't though, instead she leans over, places a kiss to his forehead that she knows neither one of them feels, and turns to leave.

_“This is going to end badly for you, Leonard, it's going to end badly for all of you, but I'll save you a seat. Bring your wallet though, you're not getting in cheap.”_

Then she's gone, leaving nothing but a shadow.

**Author's Note:**

> _This is gospel for the fallen ones_   
> _Locked away in permanent slumber_   
> _Assembling their philosophies_   
> _From pieces of broken memories_


End file.
